A little tale of a ship and a whale

I've been trawling through some of my favourite photographs. This is one I took in 2003 in Boston. It's the mast and rigging of the USS Constitution, otherwise known as "Old Ironsides."
Definitely worth a visit, by the way.
When I found the photograph I thought of doing a post about constitutions. (We may be about to change our church's constitution, for example) but I realised that would be about as exciting as counting rivets (which I suppose someone somewhere has to do from time to time, but I for one would not find it a riveting experience.)
As a boy I was always fascinated by sailing ships. Most Saturdays after visiting my grandparents in Glasgow we would wait for the bus for Port Glasgow at Clyde Street, next to the old clipper ship "The Carrick." [Occasionally, though, we would travel by train - but that's another story for another time.]
I used to try and build model sailing ships myself. I never had enough money to buy the right materials that real model-builders use for all the rigging etc. but I learned to improvise. It's a skill that has stood me in good stead ever since.
Which brings me to the whale...

Many years ago I was leading a Summer Mission Team to Ayr.
As part of our activities with the children I decided we would put on a ten-minute musical known as "Jonah Man Jazz" by Michael Hurd. It's a fun piece of music.
My problem, though, was how to create a whale for the end-of-the-week performance when all the parents would be coming along. That's where I had to improvise.
The rest of the team were having the afternoon off and I was sitting in the Church Hall wondering how to conceive a whale (metaphorically, of course.) [By the way, I know that the Bible itself calls it a "big fish" not a whale... but bear with me please.]

To understand what happened next I have to reveal a rather delicate secret. A member of the team (who is now an excellent cook but at that time was somewhat inexperienced) had been delegated to make the team's dinner on the previous night. It was to be a pasta dish. For about 30 people!
He had been told the quantities of pasta required to feed such a bunch of hungry teenagers. But no one had given him any instructions as to how the pasta should be cooked. Somehow he had got it into his head that it had to be soaked in water. So- picture the scene when the team came back that afternoon to find several large 'dixies' (outsize saucepans) overflowing with a gooey white paste. OK - you got the picture.
One of my fellow leaders wanted to pour the sticky mess down the toilets. But I imagined that this might have led to a kind of constipation in the drainage system and said 'No. I'll think of some way to dispose of it later. '
And there I was one day later, sitting in an empty church hall wondering how to make a whale become.
As a first step I took a piece of chalk and drew the outline of a whale on the floor. It was about 2.5 to 3 metres long. Then I stood and stared at it and asked it out loud "How am I going to make you stand up?"
It so happened that there were workmen doing some repairs on the hall roof and they had left some old bits of timber lying outside. I gathered some and laid them on top of my chalk drawing as a kind of skeleton. (We are at the first part of Ezekiel chapter 37 now ... 'can these dry bones live?' 'Only You know, God!')
The next thing I found were some large cardboard boxes. I opened them out and laid them on top of the wooden 'skeleton.' They could be nailed to the wooden frame and maybe taped together ... I thought .... and then did it.... but it still needs something more.
Of course...!
A eureka moment!
There is always pasta!!!

So, about an hour later when the team arrived back I started handing out the instructions. "Gather as many newspapers as you can and bring them to the hall." And we started slapping on the flour and water paste together with the newspapers to make a papier mache. Two of the girls were sent to a local DIY store to buy grey paint. When the store-keeper asked what shade of grey, they simply said - "The right shade for a whale!"
I would like to have seen his face, but, of course, I was back at the hall directing operations.
How I wish I had a photograph of that creation when it was finished. All I can say (modestly) is that it was perfect for the occasion. It had just enough flexibility to look as if it was alive when it was being carried across the stage, and just enough strength not to fall apart... thanks to the mighty pasta!
It had to be carried by two of the smaller members of the team who would not be seen behind it as they transported it across the stage. One of the 'whale-bearers' had also to hold up various placards such as "Yum! Yum!" when Jonah was thrown into the sea.
But it worked.
Thanks to some improvisation.
You see, even mistakes can be used creatively.
God does it all the time with the mistakes we make.

The only account of the creation of a whale that is even more implausible than this one is the tale recounted by Ted Hughes in his wonderful book of children's stories "How the whale became.." only my tale is a true one and not just a big fishy story.