Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Watch out for alligators

(a palm photographed in Cocoa, Florida, 2003)

Scotland is getting more like Florida every day! It's true.
OK. Our hills are a tad bigger. Our roads are a lot narrower and not nearly so straight.
But the differences are not so great as they once were.
Let me tell you why.
Last week I had a rare game of golf. By 'rare' I am referring not to the quality of golf played but to the fact that it is probably two years since I had last played a full round. Looking at my scorecard, however, it could be argued that it was rare in another sense - like a steak - kind of 'bloody' in the middle. I took a 9 at both the eighth and ninth holes!! Fortunately, they were by far the worst and I managed to pull it together again for the inward nine. Nevertheless, I am not going to tell you my total score.
Anyway, to get back to the point.... if there is one.
The sky was a bright, unclouded blue. The sun was shining warm and bright. There was hardly a breath of wind. A fellow golfer passing me on the fairway between holes remarked: "This is better than Florida! No alligators here."
"No, not yet," I replied "but give it time."
Was the unusually warm weather a consequence of global warming? Perhaps.
Of course, we are more like Florida now for another reason.
Elections.
Forget your 'hanging chads' - we had about 140,000 spoiled ballot papers in the elections to the Scottish Parliament etc. last week.
And now we have legal challenges, the likelihood of a hung parliament, no one willing to serve as presiding officer (because every vote is precious) etc... etc...
Whatever you can do, Florida, we can do better - at least as far as incompetence is concerned.
There are even some who are arguing that it was all a conspiracy to squeeze out the smaller parties.
But, c'mon, a conspiracy would require organisation, intelligence, clever strategies and a clear outcome. No - I am sure it was more cock-up than conspiracy.
There is, of course, a great appetite for conspiracy theories - whether it has to do with the assassination of JFK, the landings on the moon, aliens, 9/11, Iraq, or whatever.
I think this is probably due to our human need to find explanations for everything and our unwillingness to accept the plain fact that people make mistakes, and do things that are wrong, and sometimes these mistakes can be very big and can have huge consequences.
I'm not one who reaches quickly for the conspiracy theory when things go wrong.
I think it is partly due to my Christian faith, which teaches me that some things cannot be explained this side of eternity but one thing which is certain is the fallibility of human beings, including myself.
And so, yes, in the end I may be mistaken about Scotland becoming more like Florida, but all the same, I think we should watch out for alligators.

4 comments:

Kerron said...

But does Carluke have a Walt Disney World yet?

"No, disnae."

...


Hmm, well it made me chuckle. :-/

IAIN CUNNINGHAM said...

No - but we've got a Mickey Mouse High Street!

Anonymous said...

Give Macy's a call and see if they would like to take up residence in Carluke High Street.

Cherie said...

Oh my, as an American who had to watch the debate of the hanging chads, my heart is with you.