Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Eviction order


I suppose I could begin this post by asking for suggestions as to what the mystery object in the photograph might be, but I won't this time. I'm sure it is would be much too easy for you to work out.
What would be much harder, though, would be for you to guess where it is now, where it was before, how it got to where it was, and how it got to where it is. Confused? You will be.
But let me begin by recounting a tale of 'The Clearances.'
Actually, I'm not talking about the Highland Clearances though there are a couple of tenuous and superficial similarities.
A couple of summers ago, we had to have one of the large trees in our garden cut down because it had become dangerous. The only problem was that the tree in question also served as a residence for a number of creatures, including a family of squirrels. Needless to say the squirrels evacuated of their own accord as soon as the chain-saw gang set about their work.
Obviously they were quite happy with the neighbourhood and looked to relocate nearby. They quickly found a very suitable location in the roof of the adjacent church hall. In fact this particular large hall has more than one roof. The original roof, still intact, had, some years ago, been covered over with a secondary metal roof. The squirrels had managed to create an entrance for themselves through the wooden fascia of this secondary roof and had made themselves quite at home in the gap between the two roofs. A very spacious and no doubt very sheltered spot.
Of course, they were never happy with the small front door, and soon decided to create a back door, two sets of french windows and an emergency exit. To be honest it was sheer wanton vandalism! Some creatures just have no respect for property.
Anyway, the time had come for another eviction order to be served. Not a chain-saw gang this time, but a roofing company. As soon as the scaffolding went up and even before the work began, the squirrels packed their bags, ordered the removal vans and 'flitted'.
But they didn't take everything with them. (No one ever does.)
What you see in the photograph is something they left behind... between the two roofs.
What is it?
You must have guessed by now.
It is a school tie; one which no doubt belonged to our youngest daughter and which at some time or other probably hung on a washing line until an enterprising squirrel identified it as a potential duvet and removed it to the nest. That is where it was, and how it got to where it was. Where it is now is lying on the grass beneath the newly restored fascia, after having been cleared out of the roof space by the builders.
I wonder, do squirrels sometimes wear a tie in the evening?
Actually, although I do have to wear a tie quite often, especially on formal occasions, it is one of those items of clothing that seems to me to be totally pointless. What are ties really for?
Now that is a question you might consider giving an answer to.
And while you're thinking about it, spare a thought also for the suggestion recently made in Italy that removing your tie could help a little with tackling the problems of global warming.
Hmmm...

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your blogs are always so educational. I found myself having to look up the origin of the neck tie http://www.how-to-tie-a-neck-tie.com/necktiehist.htm. I now feel so enlightened. I'm sure you know all this already though!!!

Anonymous said...

By the way - if you type in squirrels into your browser you will see that a pack of russian squirrels have bitten a dog to death - and also it is feared that squirrels may become addicted to crack cocaine!!! Who would have thought?

Anonymous said...

Squirrels and drugs, why not. Funny thought Jean's place. As far as the neck tie, after reading the article on global warming, maybe that's how neck ties were started. A scarf that turned formal for men in their formal wear for work. It kept them warmer and looked good. Just a thought.

I must say the articles I read were full of words that I'm not sure I ever heard put that way before. I can almost hear the dialect.

What's even more amazing is that the tie is still in fairly good shape, considering. It does look like the squirrels used it for a bed cover.

Shony said...

Hi Iain

Im afraid what the squirrels did to the school tie a lot of young people would like to happen to their school tie! I wonder if it is the item of clothing most lost?

Shona x

Cherie said...

I agree with Sandy, your daughter's tie seems to be great shape. Makes me wonder what else the little rodents packed off with...

Interesting, funny post, Iain! Thanks.

Kerron said...

And let us not forget who designed that tie!

http://kerroncross.blogspot.com/2006/11/old-school-tie.html

;-)