Thursday, December 21, 2006

Christmas Sorrows

What for some may be a time of joy and family reunion, is often, for others, a time of desperate sadness and separation.
It is the privilege of ministry to meet people at every point between celebration and despair.

One of the saddest things I've ever had to do during a Christmas season was to conduct a service for the burial of a stillborn baby. There are no easy answers or quick comforting words that can be offered at times like these. Often silence is the only honest response. But even the silence sometimes has to be articulated later and I did this some months after the event in the following short poem. It is offered to everyone for whom Christmas is a hard and painful time.

Stillborn at Christmas

Cold was the day.
Bitter and cold were our hearts.
The sun shone, clear and bright
but, strangely, without warmth.
we felt forsaken by the Universe,
a gathered knot,
around the loose-ends of the little life
we never knew.

And we buried
the dreams and hopes
that had unravelled.

The flesh became a word
that would not dwell among us.
and I, the spinner of words,
had nothing left to say.



(c) Iain D. Cunningham

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think if you are someone who has family around you such as yourself you will never be able to understand what it is like to be on your own. Made worse by the message from the church about spending time with family and seeing people with family at the services etc. This is life but all to often people forget about others who are on their own or have family breakdowns or feel sorry for them. Where is true christain love at this time of the year? Sadly very lacking.

Anonymous said...

I thought the poem WAS about people who are hurting at Christmas time and the contrast between what some people think Christmas is about and what its message really is - "God with us" in our pain.

IAIN CUNNINGHAM said...

I don't think it is fair of 'anonymous' to say that the "message from the church" is "about spending time with family" although what is wrong with families coming together at Christmas or any other time? I wonder if he or she could say what "true Christian love" might actually look like "at this time of year"?

Anonymous said...

As I suspected a lack of understanding Iain but thats okay unless someone is in anothers situation how can they possibly understand.